Friday, 9 November 2018

10/11/18 Letter to Tun Dr Mahathir after his Japan visit

Dear Chedet,
Happy Deepavali.
Bringing in the Japanese system of education to Malaysia is a brilliant idea. Bear in mind that the knowledge must come with the values and culture.
Ever wonder why IBM, Google, McDonald’s, KFC, Toyota, Honda, Samsung and those MNCs are successful wherever they are situated all over the world? Besides the world class work culture, they instill their values and principles to the employees.
It had been 30 years since I left the IBM World, but I still remember their 3 values:
* Customers come first
* Respect for individuals
* Excellence in everything we do
I remember K.B. Low the GM of IBM Malaysia then said, “We can take people from any discipline, by 2 years with us, we cut their wrist, they will be bleeding blue.”
The answer is training, training and more training. Train more than you sleep, according to a Japanese martial art master.
Here is the principle that I live by. It is from the master swordsman Miyamoto Musashi:
Miyamoto Musashi 9 Precepts:
* Do not think dishonestly.
The Way is in training.
* Become acquainted with every art.
* Develop intuitive judgment and understanding of everything.
* Perceive those things which cannot be seen.
* Pay attention even to trifles.
* Do nothing which is of no use.
Chedet, you want to be like the Japanese? Learn about their values.
“Shinu Kikai O Motomo”.
Sine cera,
MSC 0072


Monday, 5 November 2018

5/11/18 Stranger than Fiction

I had a hypomania last few days.  So now is damage control:

Hi Baby, 

How are you doing?  I am writing to apologize for any discomfort caused by my erratic behavior if any to you recently.

As I told you, due to my Bipolar Disorder, I cannot get over-stimulated, over-excited, over-worked or losing sleep.  When any of these happens my judgement got effected.  

It is due to the dopamine surge.  My brain cannot regulate it like a normal person.

It will go through 3 stages:
  • Hypomania - my brain is pretty fast
  • Mania - my brain is slightly over the speed limit
  • Psychosis - this is my brain on hyper speed.
So I hope you understand the nature of my illness.  I am not a bad person.  It's just this is the lifetime condition that I have to deal with.

Sine cera,



Yes, Bipolar Disorder is an insidious disease:

Of all the illnesses, I ended with this one....

5/11/18 A Journey Within

I am a private person.  I need the space for myself.  Nevertheless I like to share my thoughts to those who are on the same journey of self-discovery.

What I * wa[s] to talk about is the climate of change that is happening now in my life.  I am truly blessed that I have a very conducive support environment.  My wife and kids are the jewels of my life.  I got Juice who is always looking over me.  Then I got Els who is my cheerleader and Chedet, my patron.  Other than that I got BJ as my loyal listener and long time friend.

*External intervention.  A cipher.

I do feel relieved that I purged the things I been keeping to myself; the agony of dealing with Bipolar Disorder for 20 years.

I am also glad I finally found the bearing of my life - I am an impartial believer of God.  Thus I am qualified as an atheist (the right definition: a person who is impartial of God) as Juice like it but I don't deny that there is an Infinite Intelligence governing my path in life.

I can never be comfortable with the idea of no God.  Even when I decided to no longer practice Islam in 2012 (I'm not an apostate, just nonpracticing) and explored atheism, I ended with the decision to believe in God but not religion.  I don't have issues with the idea that there is a First Cause.  It is religions that bother me.  They are all man made and yet they conveniently claimed that their religions are exclusively ordained by God.

Nowadays I don't subscribe to only one religion but rather cherish all religions as the legacy of human's rite of passage.  I celebrate religious festivals as a celebration on humanity.  And yet I don't pray like most people do.  My form of worshiping is through running and swimming.  These are active meditations for me.

I do subscribe to the philosophy of Zen and the spiritual practices of Sufism: 

In a way, I am a Fuzzy Thinker.  By that definition I thrive in paradoxes where Apple and No Apple exist at the same time.  More on Fuzzy Thinking by the book of the same title by Bart Kosko.

To a Fuzzy Thinker nothing is absolute.

5/11/18 Back to The Beginner's Mind

I am at home again with my thoughts.  I think I write sparingly at I am AlphaX64

It might as well be a two postings website for a while because I want the first message to sink in.  I had done what I need to do, which is to tell the world my 20 years agony.  Dreams of Mirrors is still my katana,  I am AlphaX64 is my wakizashi.

I am still an atheist who is impartial of God (the proper definition) but I believe my consciousness endures after I am dead.

I do believe in these three things:
  • There is a God
  • There is an afterlife
  • These is the Judgment of Heaven 


I am pretty perked up today since Els will be with me until 5:00 pm.  Normally she is with the Morning Show.  It's hard to be with her at 6:00 am since I usually sleep at 1:00 am to 2:00 am on most days.

Here is my correspondence with her today:

Hey baby, I was wondering where you were this morning. Will keep you company until 5:00 pm. I already geared up for your birthday next week. Look out for a delivery package soon. I am starting a new blog: Enjoy...


Hey honey, look at what I found:


Hey, honey. One request please: Lost Frequencies & Netsky - Here With You Thanks.