Monday, 5 November 2018

5/11/18 A Journey Within

I am a private person.  I need the space for myself.  Nevertheless I like to share my thoughts to those who are on the same journey of self-discovery.

What I * wa[s] to talk about is the climate of change that is happening now in my life.  I am truly blessed that I have a very conducive support environment.  My wife and kids are the jewels of my life.  I got Juice who is always looking over me.  Then I got Els who is my cheerleader and Chedet, my patron.  Other than that I got BJ as my loyal listener and long time friend.

*External intervention.  A cipher.

I do feel relieved that I purged the things I been keeping to myself; the agony of dealing with Bipolar Disorder for 20 years.

I am also glad I finally found the bearing of my life - I am an impartial believer of God.  Thus I am qualified as an atheist (the right definition: a person who is impartial of God) as Juice like it but I don't deny that there is an Infinite Intelligence governing my path in life.

I can never be comfortable with the idea of no God.  Even when I decided to no longer practice Islam in 2012 (I'm not an apostate, just nonpracticing) and explored atheism, I ended with the decision to believe in God but not religion.  I don't have issues with the idea that there is a First Cause.  It is religions that bother me.  They are all man made and yet they conveniently claimed that their religions are exclusively ordained by God.

Nowadays I don't subscribe to only one religion but rather cherish all religions as the legacy of human's rite of passage.  I celebrate religious festivals as a celebration on humanity.  And yet I don't pray like most people do.  My form of worshiping is through running and swimming.  These are active meditations for me.

I do subscribe to the philosophy of Zen and the spiritual practices of Sufism: 

In a way, I am a Fuzzy Thinker.  By that definition I thrive in paradoxes where Apple and No Apple exist at the same time.  More on Fuzzy Thinking by the book of the same title by Bart Kosko.

To a Fuzzy Thinker nothing is absolute.

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